How To Avoid People:

12:00 AM



If you've ever read any of my Manecdotes, you should know that I have a handful of people I would like to avoid around campus at all costs. (If you haven't read them go do that NOW!) A few weeks ago, I was walking home from work and I ran into the guy from Manecdote #2 and his, now, girl friend... It was so awkward... I didn't realize it was him until we were about 5 ft away and by then it was too late to hide. We had already made eye contact. He immediately stopped talking and stared at me. My only solution was to look the other way and pretend he didn't exist. 

Anyhow, this is the list I came up with to avoid awkward run-in's!!


1. Map It. 

Bring out your art supplies because we're going to make a definite map of places you could possible run into these people. 

Mark and color code accordingly:

Red Zones: Will absolutely run into them DO NOT ENTER. Forget this place has ever existed because for the rest of your avoidance, it doesn't. 

Yellow Zones: These are places that are most likely O.K. to enter but there is still a 50% chance that you will see them. Marked with yellow like the caution tape: note accordingly.

Green Zones: These are good to go places where you definitely won't see them. However, if they've at any time after you've drawn the map have entered this zone, it is not contaminated and must be blocked off as a yellow zone. 


2. Camouflage

 If you unfortunately have no choice but to run into these unfortunate people, invest in ghillie suits (pictured below).

You'll be prepared to turn into a pile of grass at any moment! Now you don't ever have to worry about awkward conversations... except maybe to the police about why you're wearing a ghillie suit....



3. Channel your inner hermit crab

If you're on a budget, try just simply staying in the safety and convenience of your own home! The solution is simple. Become a hermit! Now, not only do you not have to run into people you don't want to see, you don't have to run into people in general! 



4. Enter the Brave New World

 If the above options are a little too much effort, you must brave the chances of having unwanted run-ins. Continue with your life as usual - plus extra caution. Don't let an ex-boyfriend/bad date/etc. stop you from living your life! Make them avoid you! Do so by staring at them creepily every time you see them and trying your hardest to engage in conversation about how awesome your life has become since they've left it! In no time, they'll avoid the f*ck out of you! It'll be like they never existed!!

5. If that isn't an option, consider moving. 




With these simple solutions, you will sure be able to avoid whomever you desire! 

Comment down below if you've ever had an awkward run in with someone you really didn't want to see... like ever. 







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