The Guys You'll Meet In College:

7:52 PM

via Ghetty Images
okay okay okay, I know I was supposed to post this like earlier today, but I just wanted to make sure this was perfect. Also, I've been super busy this week. (I'm moving into my first apartment tomorrow!!)

As we all know, I tend to people-watch a lot. I just kind of mindlessly do it. (I swear I'm not a creepy stalker type!) Through my "extracurricular activities", I've observed and categorized the types of guys you'll meet in college. Of course, take (everything) I say with a grain of salt. Remember, I'm just making this stuff up. There's always going to be exceptions and add-ons to my lists. 
Regardless, enjoy (and beware)!

The Friendly Nerd:

This guy is the nicest person you'll ever meet. All he wants is friendship and it's great. All you want to do is set him up with the perfect nerdy girl. You most likely won't ever date him because he's not looking for a relationship. He's also decided that he'd much rather watch a movie on a Friday night than go out drinking. You'll most likely find him studying in his room/library/study lounge. He is also most likely the first person you'd call to fix your computer.

The Thirsty Nerd:

Remember the "Sexually Active Band Geeks" from Mean Girls? These are the college equivalent. They are usually well disguised as the "friendly nerd" but they're intentions are completely different. The thirsty nerd most likely just wants to get in your pants. They don't seem very threatening since they're just looking to be "study buddies" but , we all know they want more than that.

A variation of this is the "Creepy Nerd". They don't necessarily want to get in your pants as much as they just want to date the sh*t out of you (or just want to be friends but don't have the social skills to do it). They want to be in a relationship/friendship so bad that they'll find you on Facebook and "friend" you after talking to you for 20 minutes. There are also many times where you'll talk to one of these people and they'll passively make you feel inferior - usually accompanied by an odd laugh. If you feel like you want to squirm in the middle of a conversation, you've probably encountered a creepy nerd.

Being asian, I've encountered my fair share of Yellow Fever Creepers. They will most likely ask about your heritage 5 minutes into meeting you and then proceed to either A) ask you if you speak your native language or B) speak said native language hoping you understand. If you are this person, for the sake of both parties, please stop doing this. It's awkward af... for both of us. Most likely, you'll have a very strong accent and I won't be able to understand you, or I will be so caught off guard that I don't understand you. In no way will you speaking my native language impress me within the first 5 minutes of you meeting me. please stop. (Maybe I'll do a Yellow Fever rant post soon)

The Athlete:

Pretty self-explanatory. Athletes usually only date other athletes, hang out with other athletes, and live with other athletes. They always come in packs. Athletes are super easy to spot because they will always be in some sort of college gear.

The Frat Boi:

Just like the athlete, Frat bois usually only date other greeks, hang out with other greeks, and live with other Greeks. And they too exclusively travel in packs. Their wardrobe usually encompasses snap backs, Greek letters, Sperry's, and a red-solo cup.  Many of the guys will go through this transition phase I like to call "fuckboi-sition" where they transform from the average college guy into a f*ck boi. At the very beginning the change will be very noticeable. They will stick out like a sore thumb - even in your Econ lecture of 400 people. I swear they even walk differently. It also doesn't help that they band together in matching outfits like a bunch of girl scouts. But as the initial transition shock wears off, they will slowly start to blend in with the "regular" college kids.

The Wannabe Frat Boi:

These are the guys who aren't in the Greek system and either a) want to be in a Frat or b) hate the anything related to Greek life. They will not and do not fraternize with Fraternities.
Despite their difference of opinion on Greek life, they act pretty much the same. They live as close to the Frat boi lifestyle as possible. They will be THE person to ask about parties going on.

The Stoner:

They are the source to the smell of weed. They most likely are obsessed with bongs and other drug paraphernalia. They are usually nice people and just want to have a good time in life. Like frat bois and athletes, stoners usually band together. You'll usually spot them holding a vape pen while, well, everywhere. Since weed isn't allowed on most campuses, they are usually found in random places where they won't get caught or are technically "off campus".

The Guy Who's Doing Long-Distance:

There's always guys who have girlfriends back home. They are usually decent guys who would be perfect boyfriend material - which is why they're in a relationship. You can usually find this guy Skyping his girlfriend. My neighbor last year always sat in the same spot whenever they Skyped. They would also fight a lot so we designated that spot as his "fighting with girlfriend" spot.

The Gay Man:

You won't date them, but you will befriend them. And it will be fabulous.

Side effect: it may seem as if all the good ones are gay.

The Almost Perfect One:

There will always be that one person who is exactly who you're looking for. They'll be smart, funny, caring... but there'll always be that one thing that won't fit. It'll be either, he has a girlfriend, is interested in your friend, or just "isn't ready for a relationship". lol I've experience all of them, unfortunately.

A version of this guy is the "Clueless One". This person is absolutely clueless how great of a catch he is. He's most likely super passionate about one thing (school, sport, instrument, etc) and that thing is not women. Dating is the last thing on his mind which will drive you crazy. You will inevitably fall for this person because he is seemingly the epitome of perfection. Don't do this. There's a 98% failure rate. This person will most likely end up dating someone you would've never imagined him with (aka not you). Save yourself the heartache and move-on now.

My friends (who I based a lot of these on) were reading through these recently and I just realized I forgot one!!

The Best Friend:

This is a distant, platonic, relative once removed to the "Almost Perfect One". You guys are very similar and get along really well. However, your relationship is purely platonic which is perfect because you can talk about periods and boy problems with him without worrying about him being grossed out or disinterested. He's your bro and you're his.


The Unicorn:

Last but definitely not least, this is the person who is perfect for you. You aren't quite sure if this person exists but you just hope that one day this person will just appear out of thin air. I, as we all know, have not had the opportunity to meet this person yet. For all we know, he doesn't even exist. Except, we like to think we do. Sometimes, it feels like everyone is finding "the one" and falling in love but you. My roommate found her unicorn last year and are still madly in love. (Seriously, it's gross.) Anyhow, I like to think it's possible and that I'm just very very impatient.

lol okay so I may be slightly cynical when it comes to dating. I just need to find my unicorn. You know what, THIS IS MY YEAR. It WILL happen. *she says countless years in a row* sigh..

At least I can write about my singledom.

Stay tuned for updates on my sad excuse for a love-life. 

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  1. I love observing people too it's really fascinating... in a non creepy way too LOL! Love will happen when it's meant to happen!

    1. right! haha glad I'm not the only one. phew! and haha thanks gurl I'll just keep on waiting!


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